Monday, September 27, 2004
Heureux anniversaire mon blog cheri! Il est annee une. ...as of Sunday.
Yeah... just proving I'm bilingual [Dave]. Those who are not as intellectual as I will not understand it. Those more intellectual than I also will not understand it because of my bad grammar.
In other news... I'm supposed to go to Winnipeg untill Saturday, but frankly, I wish to stay here, by myself if necessary. It's not that I'm not interested in the conference (I am), but I feel right now it would be best if I didn't go. My back gets worse by the day, it seems; travelling aggrivates it, and secondly, I have much school to do, and I don't want to get behind. I'm not sure yet what will happen...
And I'm off to the docotr again tomorrow to see about them x-rays. I think I'll tell him what I think of his medications. I don't care if they're the greatest, newest, and bestest things on the market right now for arthritis.
I don't have arthritis, and they're not helping!
Seanna spake at
7:09 PM
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
I've never been one for superficial conversations. Sure, I shop and buy clothes and makeup, just like everyone else, although I don't really enjoy it. But talk about it? I'd rather mess with cow poo. I doubly get annoyed when I'm always complemented on my taste. Especially since I think it's boring.
I guess that's why I get so fed up with my "approved friends." (Those I'm encouraged to talk to.) Probably the only thing we have in common is that we wear clothes (be they totally different) and breathe air. It's my "unapproved friends" (those I'm not encouraged to talk to, indeed, whom it's been attempted to cut me off from.) that I appreciate so much, even though I usually fail to tell them so. We can blab about anything under the sun. Things that don't matter, or that really do. Things we both care about.
They're the ones who accept me as I am. They pray for me. Care about me. Love me. They stand by me when it's hard.
And it's been hard. And getting harder. I'm trying so hard, but I'm afraid I'm failing. I used to have so much ambition. Now it's gone. I can't do anything now, let alone dream of becoming something. I'm trying to figure out if these back problems are a sign to slow down and think. But I can't think. I can't feel. Anything but the shooting pain. It's gone from bad to really bad in a week. [Note: at my last appointment I got put on another drug, (whats with all the arthritis drugs that aren't supposed to be given to people under 18?) got x-rays, and an appointment to go to the physiotherapist... ye haw.]
In the mean time, I still have to keep up. And plan for the future. And worry. Have I been trying? Hard enough? Should I push harder? Can I? Am I actually good at anything? I never thought I was good at drawing. I've been told otherwise. I never thought I was wise. I've been told otherwise. But there isn't much demand for wise pencil drawers who are mediocre at everything else. And obviously, it's time to give up the RCMP dream; the only dream I've ever really wanted to follow. They don't need people who have the I-have-a-bad-back ducky waddle.
Maybe it's time to stop worrying. Maybe it's time to give it all up to God... and
really refocus.
Seanna spake at
7:50 PM
Thursday, September 16, 2004
For those interested, the results from my appointment... The physician isn't sure at this point if it's muscular (If so, it would indeed be odd that it has lasted this long.) or skeletal. So for now I'm off my paper route for at least a week, and on a drug. This drug (Arthrotech50) is rather strong so my paretns were concerned. It contains an anti-inflamatory, something to protect the rest of me from that and acetaminophen. (Did I fail to mention that pain killers don't help?) So far, it's just gotten worse, but I've felt positively no side effects from the drug off the page and a half list of them. As always, (or usually anyways) to stay sane, I attempt to look for humor in such things. In this case, it says "In case of overdose, contact you local poison control center. OD symptoms include vomit.... and unconciousness." Indeed. I'll be sure to call. Anyhow, this has been another saga in the life of essy, the decrepit young person.
Seanna spake at
11:14 AM
Saturday, September 11, 2004
I don't know why I did this. I detest pictures of myself. And I'm not even certain my css no-repeat, scroll and overflow stuff worked right anyways. I don't suspect it'll stay this way for long.
Monday is the day. I finally quit being a bum and got a doctor's appointment. I didn't realize it [my back] was actually that bad untill I went to the mall and got stares because I can't walk. But then, it's hard to get any sleep; it keeps me awake, and then I can hardly sit up in the mornings. *sigh* Not that it'll miracuously get better on Monday though.
And I put some of my latest artwork (Truthfully, it's the first things I've even
attempted in 4 years. Really.) on my website.
With ads, or
without. Take your pick.
Seanna spake at
5:42 PM
Saturday, September 04, 2004
Tuesday was pizza night. This is where zee boss gets all paper carriers together to go out for pizza, and then take over the town canvassing for new subscribers. Rather than PMS, I had PNS (Pizza Night Stress.) I don't want to go canvassing! My back hurts! Boo hoo! Well, I ate pizza, drew an ink tattoo on my hand, rang several blocks of doorbells, and then just went out for Coke with the girl that I got put with, because my back was so sore.
Linx 01: JibJab's This Land is My Land starring John Kerry and George W. Bush. Check it out. (Hey, do I get a purple heart for my back?)
And I just finished breaking into my own house. Some idiots locked me out while I was out for a bike ride. Kudos. They left one window open. I would make a good robber. That was so simple.
Seanna spake at
10:09 AM
